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Penpal 101

If you are new to penpalling, I hope this blog helps you with everything you need to know to become a penpal.

What is a penpal?

A penpal is a friend with whom you communicate through physically written letters.

But is it limited to only letters? Not at all.

It can be zines, postcards, artwork, pressed flowers, stickers, mixtapes, or anything else you can think of, as long as it is not digital.

A person who is interested in penpalling usually values slow communication, analog things, creativity, effort, and meaningful connections. And yes, they are usually cool people too. :)

Important Information

If you do not wish to share your personal address, there are two options.

1. Renting a P.O. Box from your local post office

Renting a P.O. Box gives you a temporary mailing address at the post office which you can share with penpals instead of giving your home address.

This is especially useful for women or anyone concerned about privacy.

Requirements and process

  1. Fill out a form or letter application at the post office.
  2. Carry a valid ID with your address proof.
  3. The cost is around ₹150 + 18% GST, so usually under ₹180 per year.
  4. Within one or two weeks, depending on the post office, you will be assigned your P.O. Box address.
  5. Letters are usually held for a week for pickup.
  6. If letters remain uncollected for longer, the postman may deliver them to your registered address.

2. Using India Post’s “Poste Restante” service

The Poste Restante service helps people living on rent or those without a fixed address receive mail through a post office instead of a home address.

And yes, this is also useful for women who prefer privacy.

This facility is free.

The sender needs to address the mail like this:

[Recipient's Full Name]
c/o Poste Restante
[Name of Post Office]
[City, State, PIN Code]
India

Make sure the recipient name matches your government ID.

All you have to do is visit the post office with your government ID, and any mail delivered in your name will be handed over to you.

Mail is usually held for 30 days.

Credit: The Poste Restante information was shared with me by one of my penpals, Vrusha.

Ways to send letters

There are many ways to send your mail depending on your budget and how important the letter is.

Stamps (Unregistered Post)

This is the classic penpal method.

You simply use stamps and drop the letter into a postbox or send it through the post office.

Best for:

It is cheaper, but there is no public tracking.

Stamp pricing notes

For postcards within India, it is generally safer to have at least ₹6 worth of stamps attached.

For international postcards, I recommend using at least ₹15 worth of stamps.

It can be any combination of stamps as long as the total value matches the amount.

Speed Post

Speed Post is faster and fully trackable.

Best for:

It costs more than regular stamped mail, but tracking makes it much safer.

From my experience, the maximum I have personally spent for a domestic Speed Post letter was around ₹80 for sending mail from Chennai to Assam. Within Chennai it has been like under ₹25

A note about postcards

Postcards sometimes get damaged or lost during transit, especially in domestic mail within India. Really can't do anything as we can't track it.

If the postcard is important or sentimental, I personally recommend placing it inside an envelope and sending it through Speed Post for extra protection and tracking.

India Post is also testing a pilot program in some major GPO post offices where even regular stamped mail like postcards and envelopes can receive an internal tracking sticker similar to Speed Post.

At the moment, customers usually do not receive public tracking access, but postal employees can still internally track the item.

Since it is still in the pilot phase, availability depends on the city and post office. I expect it to be implemented in by 2027.

Safety first

You do not have to share everything immediately.

It is okay to:

Good penpals will respect your boundaries.

Slow replies are normal

Letters take time.

Some penpals reply in a week.
Some take months.

Life happens, and that is okay.

Penpalling is slow communication, and that is part of the charm.

Set Your Own Limits

Frequency

You can decide how often you want to send letters.

For example, you may choose to send only one letter per month to each penpal.

There are no rules. Set a pace that is comfortable for you.

Number of penpals

You can also decide how many penpals you want to maintain.

If you feel that more than 10 penpals would overwhelm you, set that limit early.

Penpalling should feel enjoyable, not stressful.

Your imagination is the limit

You can exchange:

You can even collaborate on projects or eventually meet in person.

There really is no limit.

What should I write?

Most people get stuck here.

The easiest way to start is by asking questions.

It can be something simple like:

Or something completely silly:

Or something deep:

Do you see the pattern?

It can literally be anything.

Your first letter does not have to be perfect

Most people overthink their first letter.

You do not need fancy stationery or beautiful handwriting.

A simple honest letter is enough.

Try new things

Penpalling is a great excuse to try new hobbies.

You can experiment with:

You can even set monthly themes with your penpal.

For example:

“This month let’s make a zine.”
“Next month let’s try painting dogs using watercolours.”

The whole point is to explore and create together.

Be the first

If you find someone interesting, take the first step.

Approach them and ask if they would like to become penpals.

A lot of people wait for others to message first, but sometimes all it takes is one simple “Hey, would you like to exchange letters?” to start a meaningful friendship.

This step is important because, at the end of the day, you need another human being on the other side to actually send letters to. :)

Do not overthink too much.

Fortune favours the bold.

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